Every few months I get a letter from my website hosting company with a coupon for google ads, and to make me feel that they really care about me as a person, they always personalize the letter with such information as they can find on my billing statement.
So every few months, I get a chipper letter saying Hey Meghan Rose (and I’ll stop you right there – no one calls me Meghan Rose anymore, even though I still sign my name like that, and the only reason I sign my name like that is that in high school, the registrar messed up and put my full name in the What you like to be called column and I discovered it was easier to just let teachers call me that rather than explain, every year, that some secretary had switched the two columns for me. So unless my high school Calculus teacher Mr Brown has since moved to Utah to run a webhosting service, I’m pretty sure that this is just robotic scanning of billing information).
But back to the letter: Hey Meghan Rose, Ever wonder how many people in NAME OF TOWN I LIVE IN* are searching for exactly what you have to offer?
Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can answer that for you. There are 5558 people in the town I live in according to StatsCan. And I’ll bet zero of them are looking for someone who writes literary short stories. But thanks for trying.
* I’m not actually going to say the town I live in, but I think I have before, so someone could probably figure it out if she were so inclined.
I went to the library yesterday. The librarian had locked himself out of his computer system, but said I could just take my books out anyway, which may be pretty awesome because now I have far too many library books out, but if some of the books I have out don’t go into the system, then I’ll have a longer time to read them.
I’m pretty sure though, if there were more than 5558 people in my town, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to just take books out of the library without actually taking them out.
And I’m also pretty sure the librarian knows me as the creepy girl who takes out too many books. But that’s okay, because that’s what I am.