Geoff: That review you posted was pretty scathing.
Me: Really? Was it?
Geoff: Parts of it were mean, like about the secondary characters.
Me: I could have been meaner. (here I list off a bunch of really mean things I could have said)
Geoff: You know that because you could have been meaner doesn’t negate the fact you were mean.
Me: Like if I punched you in the face and then said Hey, at least I didn’t murder you!
Geoff: You’re going to punch me in the face, aren’t you? (interestingly, a few days later, Geoff accidentally elbowed me in the eye, which is very similar to being punched in the face.)
Me: Well, let’s see how long until the author emails me to complain like that other guy.
Geoff: When he does, just tell him at least you didn’t murder him. That should go over well.