people I should be friends with but am not

Mainly because they are famous and don’t know I exist:

1. Amy Poehler,
2. Chris O’Dowd,
3. Vendela Vida,
4. Gael Garcia Bernal,
5. Zadie Smith,
6. Kate Atkinson,
7. Vin Diesel,
8. Andriy Shevchenko.

Now, how to meet these people, convince them I am not a super-stalker, especially since I put there names on my blog as to how I need to make friends with them, make friends with them, and then feel smug about my new-found famous friends.