I’m thinking my faerie story might actually work better without faeries. How vital are vampires to Twilight? I think I fail at YA paranormal writing.
Unsticking my last plot-hole with magic has only led me to another sticky plot-hole situation further down the line.
Because there are only so many stories you can write about unhappy people doing horrible things to each other, I’ve been trying to write a more upbeat faerie-based YA thing. I’ve been slacking a bit this week, partly because of playing too much Civ IV, partly because of a sticky plot point that wouldn’t resolve itself, until I realised that I am writing something with faeries so the obvious solution is magic.
So yes, I magicked away my problem. This is much easier than actually, logically solving anything. I can see why so many people want to write fantasy now.
Those following me on twitter know that I had an unhappy brush-off the other day regarding writing. So I decided to make a list about being a real writer to cheer myself up.
You’re not a real writer if:
- you haven’t been published;
- you’ve been published but not paid;
- you’ve been published and paid but published online;
- you’ve been published and paid in print but not in a prestigious journal
- you’ve been published and paid in print in a prestigious journal but it’s only short fiction or individual essays
So yes, I have no novel and only short fiction and maybe not in the most prestigious journals and mainly online, so what? I hate the hierarchy that I’m not real at what I do and it rankles because this isn’t the first time this happened – as an undergraduate female in a STEM field at a university that has huge problems with male privilege (which doesn’t need to be the case as where I went for graduate school in the same field was awesome and had none of the problems my undergraduate school had), I had to constantly justify why I deserved to be there when others around me with dicks didn’t. Now I have to justify that my little steps to success aren’t valid until I write the big, important novel.
Maybe I will write a novel. Maybe I won’t. But you’d think in a field that is all about narrative, that we’d be able to allow more than one narrative to define literary success.
For example, I paid inside the gas station rather than at the pump like I normally do (but that was since the credit card reader at the pump was broken). I am trying to do new things, however small, to encourage Tesfa, who tried soccer for the first time last night and melted-down about the possibility before the fact. So we will try many new and (low) risky things over the next while in the hopes that Tesfa becomes more exciting than I am.
I understand that not everyone likes everything. Myself, I like about zero percent of the world. Still, I wish that the intersection of
- people who like me, and
- people who like my writing
had cardinality greater than one, i.e. Geoff. I do appreciate some of the random positive-styled comments I get. I’ve gotten this seems more mature than other stories you have written. I’ve been complimented on font (which I should have passed along to the LaTeX people). I had someone point out a typo. I feel that if I were a poet, I would do a found-poem of all the positive-style comments I have ever received.
Clearly a few strangers don’t mind me, otherwise no one would have ever published anything I’ve submitted, but somehow stranger love means nothing without overwhelming friends and family love too.
I read the following books:
- The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman: I did not enjoy this book. As I put in a review the execution so poor that any goodwill towards the story is effectively squandered by a few pages in. The characters are flat and their voices barely differentiated; there almost seems no need to have four separate voices since the voices are identical. The situations are melodramatic. The writing is plodding and the book too long. The love others have for this book completely confounds me.
- The Story of Lucy Gault by William Trevor: A gentle novel. I can’t think of another novel I’ve read recently that is as gentle as this one.
- Alif the Unseen by G. Willow Wilson: A book I really wanted to love but couldn’t because this book is sloppy. It has the forward momentum thrust and the cute humour, which I will admit are aspects anything I write lacks, but the book is rushed and reads juvenile in many places. This book, much like the revolution within it, is about potential rather than anything realised. Maybe someday.
- The Pale King by David Foster Wallace: Unfinished (that is, the book is – I read all of what is written) by still I liked.
- Ten Good Seconds of Silence by Elizabeth Ruth: Another novel of potential unrealised. I read it and worry that if I ever write a first novel, it will end up over-muddied like this one and then lost and forgotten. There is a lot of good stuff here, but then there is a lot of unnecessary stuff as well as big coincidences. I don’t know. I don’t buy it.
- Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White: With Tesfa.
- Matilda by Roald Dalh: Geoff had a conference. Tesfa and I spent most of a weekend reading this book instead.
Best book: The Pale King. What else am I going to pick? I didn’t have a very successful book reading month.
I watched:
- How I Met Your Mother: *hangs head in shame* This show is awful.
- Game of Thrones: I guess I was supposed to be sad some people died. I wasn’t. Geoff, annoyed, asked me why I even watch this show if there is nothing I like about it. I thought and came up with the following: I like Bronn, Ja’quen Haagard, oldest Lannister, and the grandmother because they actually do things rather than whine and sulk about their situations. I hope Ja’quen Haagard becomes king.
- The Fall: Although somewhat suspicious of Gillian Anderson’s inclusion (I liked how they didn’t even bother having her try a Northern Irish accent and just let her be from London), this wasn’t bad. It skirted the line on being exploitative though – the length of the scene murdering Sarah Kay in particular. I watched this over a few weeks, and in the middle watched Bridesmaids and thought to myself I can see why everyone watches television now rather than movies and thought of this show in particular.
- Mad Men: I guess this is one of the leading I can see why everyone watches television now rather than movies television shows, but I’m really losing steam watching lately. I think I only watched one episode all month.
- Community: I watched some episodes on an airplane and, relatedly, fuck you Air Canada that you have seatback television on Halifax-Montreal flights but shit all on Moncton-anywhere ones.
- Arrested Development: I’m disheartened by how cruelly the writers/producers/directors/Mitch Hurowitz/whoever treated so many of the characters. I guess in the earlier seasons it didn’t seem so mean-spirited. Oscar pretending to be George and having sex with Lucille was also uncomfortable – that whole subplot removes consent, so is rape. So I am not happy with any of this.
- Sandbaggers
- Superwhy: With Tesfa
- My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: which has eclipsed all other shows in the Tesfa-universe. Gone Fraggle Rock. So long Dinosaur Train. Superwhy? What’s that? She found this on a blurry television screen in Costa Rica, in Spanish, and sat there entranced for the whole half hour. Now that she knows it is on Netflix, her whole life revolves around five o’clock when she gets to watch My Little Pony. I try to be positive: lots of females with differing skills and interests, not many romance subplots, not much mean competition, but sometimes I watch an episode with Tesfa and wonder how much marketing psychology is going into the shows and how many times I’m going to have to say no to cheap, plastic merchandise with a variety of My Little Pony tie-ins affixed to them.
- The Debt: I thought that by watching the Israeli original it would be cool. It wasn’t. I should have stopped twenty minutes in but kept going.
- Bridesmaids: Bitchflicks had an article on Why We All Need to See ‘Bridesmaids’, so I watched it (quasi-illegally – why can I not rent this movie online?) and did not get the appeal. I am getting the appeal less and less of everything that other people like. I think I need to take drugs to make me happier and ensure that I enjoy something, anything, each month.
- Upstream Color: Okay, having said I dislike everything, I liked this movie. I didn’t find it as terrifyingly baffling as the internet suggested I would, but then again I didn’t find Shane Carruth’s earlier movie Primer difficult to follow either (at the same time, I didn’t actively try to analyse Primer and its timelines; I simply passively accepted what was happening). So this was good. I watched it with a migraine, so maybe that made me care less about understanding.
I wrote: A story about a laundromat that might be the starting point for something more. Worked on a longer story about faeries for Tesfa, probably end up being YA since YA is hot right now and I am nothing if not a slave to the whims of popular culture (this is a joke – popular culture rejects me like a pretty girl does a whinging boy asking her on a prom date). Submitted some stories. Had an earlier accepted story published in hard copy.
Mainly because they are famous and don’t know I exist:
- Amy Poehler,
- Chris O’Dowd,
- Vendela Vida,
- Gael Garcia Bernal,
- Zadie Smith,
- Kate Atkinson,
- Vin Diesel,
- Andriy Shevchenko.
Now, how to meet these people, convince them I am not a super-stalker, especially since I put there names on my blog as to how I need to make friends with them, make friends with them, and then feel smug about my new-found famous friends.
From watching Arrested Development Season Four to punching through a bunch of stuff like having a sick child at the airport with missing luggage to submitting a slew of stories, I am busting through the last week of June.
I was invited to my first ever bastion of the thirty/forty something women this month – a book club! I was super excited because I am not good at meeting people or putting myself out there and this was a commitment to do both. Then I didn’t realise the book club was in the afternoon rather than the evening and missed it, which is pretty much par for the course for me. Let’s just say when I told Geoff, he wasn’t surprised. Hopefully I will be more on-the-ball for book club meeting number two.