meghan rose allen

Picture via https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/05/remembering-george-floyd-devoted-father-gentle-giant-200531070908430.html

Walk the same route, no hoodie, no headphones, backpack straps over two shoulders, eye contact, good morning ma’am/sir, step off sidewalk, let them pass, brush teeth, dental hygiene, don’t look like a meth-head, gain weight, don’t look like you’re on crack, on heroin, but not muscles (muscles threaten), good morning ma’am/sir, step on road, smile, deference, don’t grow your hair out, corn-row, afro- fade, don’t wear colours, walk slow, not too slow (casing), not too fast (fleeing), same route so they know you (casing), a different route tomorrow (suspicious), don’t take selfies, don’t hold phone, how would he get a phone like that? don’t wear sneakers (fleeing), but nice shoes, how would he get nice shoes like that? don’t strut, don’t stride, don’t look like you belong too much, don’t stand out either, don’t hum jazz, blues, hip hop, rap, gospel, soul, funk, afro-carib, don’t get lost in thought, don’t be too interested in your surroundings (casing), comment on the weather, yes sir/ma’am, sure is hot, don’t use slang, don’t use cuss words, don’t sound too educated, how would he get an education like that? ma’am/sir, don’t stumble, don’t ask for help, don’t linger, get up on your own, don’t limp though it hurts, how would he get an injury like that? adjust your backpack, don’t let it hang off one shoulder like you’re comfortable, like you belong here, but not out of place either, not a threat, don’t smile at children (leering), don’t say hey I watch that show/sport/team too who’s your fave, how would he know about a show/sport/team like that? don’t hobble (draw attention), don’t jaywalk, don’t loiter, don’t lag at the crosswalk waiting for the light, don’t check out the surroundings while not waiting (casing), don’t look only at your shoes, make eye contact, ma’am/sir, sure is hot, check for cars but not too close (jacking), hands visible, no phone, no pockets, no sagging, no headphones, no hoodie, no cigarettes, where would he get looseys like that? no eye contact, more eye contact, sir/ma’am, step off the sidewalk, no smiling at white women, no reaction to that truck with that flag in the window, no shoulders too far back (ownership), no shoulders hunched forward (trying to be invisible), don’t look smug, don’t stick out, don’t object, don’t walk on lawns (trespassing), don’t pick flowers (theft), don’t brush against foliage (property damage), ma’am/sir, sure is hot out, don’t dawdle (casing), don’t scurry (fleeing), don’t draw attention except enough to mean you aren’t not trying to not draw attention, to not not draw attention, to not not not draw attention, don’t laugh (mocking), don’t scowl (threatening), don’t explain, don’t resist, don’t object, don’t keep your hands where we can’t see them, don’t make eye contact with the witnesses (they can’t help you now), don’t resist, you’re not resisting, you’re not, I’m not resisting, I am not resisting, I am not, my hands, I am not resisting, I am not, I am not

I am

I can’t breathe.