Month: April 2017

my new, terrifying, haiku

Many many years ago, I did database queries for an insurance company on overloaded servers. There were days where I would start my program at 8 a.m., and then, because of the aforementioned overloaded servers, it wouldn’t finish until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Out of this came a haiku, which I have now modified as I descend into the mire of submitting my faerie story to publishers so I can add to my list of polite rejection letters.

Very slow Meghan.

If my book is not published

I will kill you all.

Geoff read my haiku, then backed away, making sure to keep his eyes on me, but not make eye contact, as he did so.

Obviously, I am not going to kill you all. But it fits in the haiku nicely.

Review of The Lucky Ones by Julianne Pachico

Well, I had a good run of ARCs that didn’t have something bizarre in them. No squid sex or unexpected aliens or guess what someone has multiple personalities and we’re like sixty percent of the way through the book before we even mention it once. I’d even started getting into The Lucky Ones. I wasn’t that enthused after the first two or so chapters (each one a self-contained slice of characters that are all inter-related somehow in Columbia’s many and varied civil wars/war on drugs/insurgencies/etc.), but then I got into the rhythm, wasn’t thrown off by the jumping perspectives, the changes in viewpoint, even the second-person (you, we, etc.) parts.

Then rabbits. On cocaine.

Not just rabbits on cocaine. Rabbits on cocaine from their perspective because, of course, their thoughts and everything would be exactly like humans. Word-for-word.

One of the rabbits smokes a crack pipe.

And so, my respect for the novel was pretty much ruined. I tried. I really did. I got to the end. I thought all the different connections between the characters were interesting. I could see it all in my mind, the locations, the people, the sounds, but, no matter what, this is a book where a rabbit smokes a crack pipe and my mind is so small and petty that that’s all I’m going to be able to associate with it.

The Lucky Ones by Julianne Pachico went on sale March 7, 2017.

I received a copy free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Review of March of the Crabs Volume 1 by Arthur de Pins

I read this comic, then promptly forgot that I read it, which is odd since it’s actually a kinda cute book about cute little crabs who can only move in a straight line.
Then two crabs intersect at a perpendicular angle and the world is their oyster (hee hee sea pun!), and if not the world, than their little French estuary. The drawings have that French mod/new-wave feel and I did enjoy reading it, but then again, I keep forgetting that I did, which must mean something, if I could only figure out what.

March of the Crabs Volume 1 by Arthur de Pins went on sale March 31, 2015.

I received a copy free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Review of The Flintstones Vol 1. by Mark Russell

Other than getting the theme song stuck in my head, what is the purpose of a rebooted Flintstones? Nostalgia I suppose. Getting to play around within the confines of a system? All those stories you wish the Flintstones had told while you were home sick at lunch during grade school (The Flintstones came on at noon when I was growing up. This may not be the case for people who did not grow up in the same environs as I did — I don’t know. And so, The Flintstones always make me taste Zoodles because that’s what you ate when you were home sick. Again, that might not be a universally understood *thing*)?

Recently I read A Hundred Thousand Worlds by Bob Proehl, which briefly touches on whether readers want new characters and new stories or simply new stories for comics. Would I have requested a comic about early humans that weren’t the Flintstones? I don’t know. So I guess that’s the purpose of a rebooted Flintstones, for people like me, who are indecisive about what they want out of reading-life, I guess.

And none of this has anything to do with The Flintsones Vol. 1 per se. Hmmm.

So it’s The Flintstones, but more for grown-ups with digs at vitamins and chimpanzees spouting David Bowie lyrics. Fred and Barney are veterans of a Vietnam-War-type-of-debacle that clear-cut the way for Bedrock’s establishment. Wilma is an artist (was she on the TV show? I remember she was a cigarette girl in one episode). Betty is just Betty (boo!). The elephant vacuum cleaner forms a friendship with the armadillo bowling ball that is the most compelling relationship in the comic, although I get the impression that there are a lot of sight gags and *wink wink nudge nudge*’s that I missed because I am lousy at reading comics (I tend to read the words and gloss over the pictures) and, as an ARC, the quality is not as great as it would be in the actual book.

The strength in The Flintstones Vol. 1 (and I keep typing Flintsones rather than Flintstones, so I apologize if that typo squeezes its way into the final review) is the way each comic feels like an episode of the TV show, even with updated drawings and situations and style. It feels like I watched six episodes of The Flintstones yesterday, eating Zoodles, in my pyjamas. Russell captured that television feeling somehow, and I’m not exactly sure how, but he did, even if I think the whole thing should be abandoned for a spin-off Vacuum and Bowling Ball story line instead.

The Flintstones Vol. 1 by Mark Russell went on sale March 28, 2017.

I received a copy free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

March 2017

I read:

Thoughts:

All the Places I’ve Ever Lived by David Gaffney: Review posted earlier.

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah: Review posted earlier.

Are You There Krishna? It’s Me, Reshma. Or Rachel. Or Whatever. by Rachel Khona: Review posted earlier.

The Universe is a Machine by James Michel Hughes: Review posted earlier.

I feel I’m slowing down on reading. I don’t know why. So little makes me want to read, but then I crave reading constantly, so I think it’s just standard meghan brain nonsense.

Favourite book:

We’ve all heard the hard sudoku comment (if not, in a creative writing class, another student said reading what I wrote was like doing a hard sudoku puzzle, and no one wants to do a hard sudoku puzzle because it’s too hard. Of course, I only do hard sudoku puzzles if I’m going to be doing a sudoku puzzle, so the comment was demonstrably wrong, but I kept my trap shut). Pat Barker is hard sudoku. I’m not even sure I know what she’s talking about half the time, but I love it anyway.



Most promising book on my wishlist:



I watched:



I wrote:

Faerie story is done. Just writing random scenes since then. Trying to get my new-writing groove back.

Review of Everything Reminds You of Something Else by Elana Wolff

I’m still not sure if I know how to read poetry. I find poems don’t stick in my head very long, like they blend into my neurons’ background noise after reading them, thinning out until there’s not much left. Like yesterday, less than twelve hours ago, I read Everything Reminds You of Something Else, with a poem about the ringing postman, and laying in bed not getting up, and I knew exactly that feeling and thought I’ll write about that in my review! and then forgot about it entirely until this moment when I was flipping (well, e-flipping, it’s a PDF) through and remembered. So I went from knowing exactly that feeling, a poem with perfect resonance, to, less than a day later, wiped from my mind. Is that me or the poetry? What does it say that the only poems I manage to recall are A.A. Milne’s and Shel Silverstein’s poems for kids?

Unprompted, here is what I remembered from Everything Reminds You of Something Else:

  1. there is a poem with a guinea pig in it (for eating, not cuddling; they are in Ecuador);
  2. this quote: writing is compensation for a shortfall of some sort.

Maybe poetry is like air and we breathe it in greedily, use it in our muscles, but then, usefulness exhausted, we breathe out the remains and forget about it?

I think I liked Everything Reminds You of Something Else. There were many >, which make me think of greater than‘s. Indents are cut lines all over the pages. I liked the flow. It seemed consistent. Maybe I should stop requesting to review poetry books, but I like having poetry in my life, even if I don’t know how to speak intelligently about it.

A pigeon in a crack of the Wailing Wall — that was in the poetry book too. See, I can remember some things 🙂

Everything Reminds You of Something Else by Elana Wolff went on sale April 1, 2017.

I received a copy free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.